i can't shake the dark cloud hovering over my head. it's slowly enveloping my being. everywhere i go, it haunts me. i can't shake it off.

 

being alone with my thoughts is frustrating. depressing. heartwrenching.

 

i've gone through Kübler-Ross' five stages in the past month. through and back. round and round again. round one: denial. round two: anger. round three: bargaining. round four: depression. round five: acceptance.

 

 

the first of many times i felt the wind get knocked out of me. mixed signals, IMs, identical car, exact perfume, places frequented.

 

it's Kübler-Ross' five stages over and over.

 

 

realization is bitterly sinking in. hands cold with sweat. round five must be realized soon.

 

 

one month since that last sweet memory. three weeks since the end. plaster smile. force it.